My thoughts on Relationships, on The Academy of Miracles podcast

I’m honored to share with you that I’m this week’s featured guest on Elloa Atkinson’s podcast, The Academy of Miracles! Elloa and I enjoyed a deeply personal conversation about relationships. Starting today, you can listen to the podcast through Elloa’s website: or through iTunes.

Celebrating freedom (to form family) this July 4th!

After the historic Supreme Court decision on marriage equality June 26th, many families across our nation are celebrating their freedom to marry the people they love. This Independence Day, we celebrate our independence from Great Britain and the establishment of our country, including the Constitution. The 14th amendment of the Constitution is the basis of the decision by the majority leaders of the Supreme Court.

The Court majority summarizes:

The Fourteenth Amendment requires a State to license a marriage between two people of the same sex and to recognize a marriage between two people of the same sex when their marriage was lawful-ly licensed and performed out-of-State. Pp. 3–28.

This is a victory for many families, but for many others, they are still not free to love and marry the people they love. Polyamorous and blended families still face being kept apart because their commitment to each other is not legitimized in the eyes of the state.

Ricci Joy Levy, executive director of The Woodhull Sexual Freedom Alliance, commented on this contrast in an email last week and I’d like to share a few of her comments with you:

The right to family is a human right that has been acknowledged by the United Nations and the United States since 1948. Family is the most fundamental unit of social organization, but this does not mean that all families fit a single model. Preferred family forms change over time and vary across communities and cultures. In addition, within any given time and place, individuals form families that vary from one another. It is imperative that societies recognize and respect this diversity of family by creating new approaches and policies that embrace and embody these differences.

One of the key programs at Woodhull is the Family Matters Project. The Family Matters Project works to shift the national dialogue about family away from its rigid focus on marriage equality so that we can achieve recognition for all forms of family and ensure that justice for one family is justice for all families!

We are just one step ahead in the race to achieve freedom to form family that works and fits us.

Marriage Equality is not the end of the road for LGBTQ Equality

Our nation is celebrating the right for couple couples to marry this week, but the fight for equality is far from over. LGBTQ people face outright hatred and bigotry daily from housing, employers, strangers on the street, sometimes even their own family.

I came across an Op-Ed from Rachel Price in The Spartan Daily. Price says, “If history has taught us anything, it’s that this is not the end of the fight for LGBT equality, it’s the beginning.”

To read her entire article, Equal marriage victory is a step in the right direction

Memories from Yale Writers Conference

I just returned from the Yale Writers Conference where I hobnobbed, partied, updated, and rewrote with some of the greatest writers and teachers of our time. Special shout out to the brilliant and intuitive and supportive David Atkins. And to Doug Moser, Sylvia Madrigal, and Charlie Watts.  And to those guides and mentors Mishka Shubaly, Terra Elan McVoy, Molly Gaudry, MG Lord and Terrence Hawkins.  And to Chandra, So, and everyone in ‘Writing for Television,’ even Peter Mehlman, who taught the hard lesson about Hollywood: not showing up can sometimes mean, “it wont always be this great….”

My memories from the Yale Writers Conference, in photos:

Read More»

A great relationship has great sex

If you want great sex, you have to have a great relationship. In a recent panel discussion I hosted for YourTango, Harville Hendrix, author of Getting The Love You Want, had some great advice for couples wanting to spice up their relationship.

One thing we know that does not make for a great relationship is anxiety. If you and your partner are into negativity and putting each other down, you might have sex but it’s not going to be great sex. It will be a compensation for the missing intimacy. The relationship has to be safe, because only when you’re safe can you drop your defenses. Only when you drop your defenses do you have access to your body and to the chemistry that comes with safety.

To re-inspire the passion in your relationship, get all of the negativity out, make it safe, and then spice it up with some creativity.

Watch the video on YourTango for more advice on how to stay connected, intimate, and having fun through all the stages of your relationship.