Is it possible to Recover from Affairs?

After infidelity, most couples struggle with rebuilding trust, earning forgiveness, and moving toward a shared vision of a new monogamy and a new future. As a therapist, it’s easy to feel ineffective in the treatment of affairs. There is an old model of infidelity treatment that focuses on a perpetrator and a victim. Common dilemmas in affair recovery often surface around this “threesome” and only make the secret keeping, both in the therapy as well as in the primary relationship, worse. The real healing comes when couples and the therapist learn to be transparent, to confront the differences between privacy and secrecy and when the causes of the affair are explored in a nonpathological way. Forgiveness can be a stuck place as well. And is many times the cause of divorce or separation. “I cant forgive you,” or “Why cant you forgive me?” is a stuck place for many couples who have cheated. Yet forgiveness is a power struggle. Some days there is true forgiveness and understanding and other days, when there is no balance in the relationship, the one who has been cheated on may take back their forgiveness to even the score. Forgiveness is not the goal of the therapy. Empathy is the focus of long term healing. Imago relationship therapy works well in this model, with its structure and understanding of validation and empathy for each partner.

Join me in a new webinar on May 14, May 21, and May 28, 2014 to learn how to help couples work through these major stumbling blocks using Imago therapy techniques of dialogue, validation and empathy. Imago therapy is uniquely therapeutic when it comes to working with affairs and will help any therapist deal directly with couples in the dialogical process necessary for post affair healing.

To register online please click here.
To register as a Graduate Student, please email

Check out the world’s biggest online Conscious Sexuality and Relationship Conference at No-Cost!

Please join me for the FREE Online Conscious Sexuality and Relationship Conference this May hosted by Marc David and Emily Rosen, and sponsored by the Institute for Conscious Sexuality and Relationship! The Conscious Sexuality and Relationship Conference features 40+ experts who’ll share innovative ideas and daring insights in these fascinating realms. You’ll experience an approach that honors all of who we are as sexual and relational beings – body, mind, heart and soul. That’s why I’m so excited to be one of the featured experts in this unique online event May 12-16th 2014, which you can sign up for FREE here: The Conscious Sexuality and Relationship Conference

This is going to be the largest online conference of its kind, ever! Get ready to be inspired by speakers from a variety of disciplines who each have something unique and innovative to share.

Some topics include:

- Cutting edge research on sex, biology and the brain
- A deeper understanding of Tantra
- Evolutionary Psychology looks at relationship and sexuality
- Communication styles
- New visions in relationship and sex
- Mindful Loving
- Ancient wisdom teachings
- The psychology of men, sex and relationship
- Modern insights from clinical sex therapy
- The sacred art and science of sexual healing
- Understanding sexual trauma
- New tools for navigating relationship challenges
- The future of love and relationship
- And lots more!

The field of human sexuality and relationship is wildly diverse and often difficult to navigate. It’s time to discover an approach that dives deeper in an honest, engaging, and uplifting way. It’s time to discover our truest sexual and relationship potentials.

Once again, I hope you join me!

Dates: May 12-16 2014

Price: FREE

Sign up online at The Conscious Sexuality and Relationship Conference

CSRC Speaker Badge Tammy Nelson, PhD

New Teleclass for Sex Therapists: the Pelvic Floor

Sexual therapists and educators recognize the importance of awareness and function of the pelvic floor in sexual enhancement, as well as the role pelvic floor dysfunction may play in sexual problems. Yet, without a clear understanding of pelvic floor anatomy, behavioral counseling related to the pelvic floor may be limited.

Join Talli Rosenbaum and I for another two-hour teleclass for professional, clinical and/or medical personnel looking for information on the pelvic floor and the role it plays in sexual function.

Down Under: What Sex Therapists Should Know About the Pelvic Floor

Date: May 19th, 2014 from 10:00 am – 12:00 noon Eastern. Listen live or download the teleclass and listen at your convenience.

Save $50 on registration before THIS Tuesday April 15th ($99 before 4/15; $149 after)

The pelvic floor is a complicated anatomical entity which includes muscles, soft tissues, nerves, blood supply, and the organs supported within. In addition to sexual function, the pelvic floor is integral in bowel and bladder functioning, sphincter control, and support of the pelvic organs. While the pelvic floor has objective and anatomic markers, pelvic floor function is closely related to psychological processes including anxiety and trauma.

This two hour teleclass is designed to educate counselors, therapist and educators with limited medical background, in the basic anatomy and function of the pelvic floor. The anatomy of the pelvic floor will be reviewed in detail and normal pelvic floor functioning in sexual activity will be elucidated. In addition, the functions of the pelvic floor will be reviewed and explained. The role of the pelvic floor in sexual pain disorders and other sexual problems will be addressed and relevant research will be cited.

Register Now

What Can Make You A Better Parent?

For those interested in parenting, I recently participated in a taped discussion with parenting experts Rhona Berens, Miriam Kove, Barbara Becker Holstein and Tara Kennedy Klein to provide tips that will help parents better understand their kids, as well as help them better communicate their parental wants and needs.

There are a lot of parenting styles out there, and every mother thinks she knows best. Some advice is great while other pieces of wisdom are anything but. So what is a parent to do when they want to raise happy and healthy children who are also well-behaved and well-adjusted? They ask the experts, of course!

Remember — you and your children are a team. You’re a player and they’re a player and together, you can win at being an amazing family. Watch the video to learn more!

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Sex, marriage, and relationships – new advice from relationship experts

I was a guest expert on Huffington Post Live’s What’s Trending. We talked about the 8 signs that you’re in the right relationship. Read the original article that inspired this topic: 8 Signs You’re In The Right Relationship

Watch 8 Signs You’re In The Right Relationship on Huffington Post LIVE


I’ve also recently hosted a series of taped discussions with John Gray, Ph.D. and other relationship experts for YourTango. See the latest episodes:

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