The One Thing All Mothers Really Want For Mother’s Day

The best gift ever: showing her that you appreciate her this Mother’s Day.

Being a mom is the hardest job of all time. I don’t care what anyone says. It’s hard. And I have a hard job.

Being a mom is a full-time job. So if you have a career as well, you are constantly working two full-time jobs. One day out of the year, a homemade card and pancakes in bed is not too much to ask for. A massage, a manicure, flowers, some attention. That’s all I want. (Well, maybe a new Coach bag too.) Actually, all I really want is some acknowledgement that the major sacrifices that I have made, every day of my children’s lives since the moment of conception, is recognized and appreciated.

And if you’re a husband, it’s important to make the mother of your children feel appreciated—or the resentment she feels when you don’t notice her struggles can erode the foundation of your marriage. Mothers want acknowledgement on Mother’s Day not only from their kids, but from the father of their children. And if a wife and mother doesn’t feel appreciated for the major balancing job she does, the physical exhaustion she experiences, and the emotional depletion that comes with mothering, she may turn to someone else for emotional renewal.

Read the full article over on YourTango.com

Things you should never say to a friend who’s been cheated on

Originally posted to HuffingtonPost on 5/4/13

Your friend calls you in the middle of the night, crying. She sniffles and barely manages to say, “He did it again. He cheated!” You hold your breath because you aren’t sure what to say. You want to say the right thing. However, what comes out may be the the worst thing you can say.

Right now, your friend or loved one is in a crisis. They just found out that their partner cheated. Sure, there are things they want to hear. And you want to say them, because you want to comfort your friend. And you want to let your friend know that you are there for him or her in their misery. But trust me, if you say the wrong thing now, it could come back to bite you later on. And some things you say could be even worse — you could lose your friendship forever.

Do you want to really help them? Here are the things you should never say to a friend who’s been cheated on.

Routledge Will Publish a Porn Studies Journal

Yes, there will be a scholarly journal dedicated to the study of pornography and it’s relation to culture, economy, history, institutions, legal and social contexts. This is a great improvement for the field of human sexuality and I’m looking forward to the first issue in 2014.

Porn Studies, to be published by Routledge, will critically explore cultural products and services designated as pornographic. My friend and colleague Marty Klein is on the editorial board. Do you agree that its time porn got its intellectual place in the field of mental health?

PTSD and Emotional Trauma Affects Partners Too

In this intriguing article, Ruth Buczynski presents new research that shows partners of veterans returning from combat suffered as much physical stress response as their loved one. I wonder if this could be true for other types of psychological stress or trauma like rape or violence? Trauma is a complicated experience and may be far more influential physiologically and psychologically than we previously thought. Have you ever worked with a couple suffering from PTSD? How were you able to help them? If you’re working with challenging couples, come to my Retreat in Santa Cruz June 28-30 and find out how to work with trauma and PTSD. Or join my latest teleclass with Gina Ogden and myself, Challenging Clients in Sex Therapy.

Can a certain hormone cause people to cheat?

Could oxytocin be the key to infidelity? Oxytocin helps people build trust and form strong emotional bonds. A new study has shown that men who receive higher levels of oxytocin keep their distance from attractive women, theoretically reducing the likelihood that they will have an affair. What do you think – will we be able to blame our biochemistry for our infidelity someday?

Read the article and watch the video on HuffingtonPost