Getting the Sex you Want

Is there a magic button for a perfect relationship? No!

Wouldn’t it be nice if there was a set of rules or instructions for having a perfectly satisfying relationship? I’m pretty sure that’s completely unrealistic! Psychotherapist and columnist Philippa Perry suggests that it’s unhealthy to approach a relationship in such a way – each person is unique, and therefore each relationship is unique, and approached with flexibility. Read her article How to Have Good Relationships. What’s your opinion?

Affairs are a hot topic!

I’ve got two, yes TWO, articles on the home page of YourTango.com!

In the One Thing That Will Save Your Relationship After an Affair find out what one thing you can do to not only save your marriage but improve the health of any relationship. Learn the secret to creating a more loving, connected and fulfilling relationship today.

In How to Have an Affair… In Your Relationship I share three sexy ways to cheat on your partner, with your partner (yes it’s possible!). Cheating is all about the forbidden – creating illicit, exciting spontaneity – why not create some of that same excitement with someone you love and trust without the hurt and betrayal of a real affair?

4 simple tips for getting the sex you want

What are the easiest ways to get the sex you really want? Find out in CLEO (a NZ magazine) where my expert opinion adds to a great, informative read. Women deserve to have more passion, intimacy, and satisfaction in their sex lives. Check out these 4 simple tips for getting the kind of sex you want.

New research on perceptions of gay guys, gender roles

Joe Kort posted another great article on HuffingtonPost last week about the misconceptions and misperceptions of gay guys in both the homosexual and heterosexual cultures. The most important lesson from this research and Joe’s article is that everyone is a fully sexual human being, regardless of whether or not they enjoy penetrative sex. Not being a certain identity (“Top”, “Bottom”, or otherwise) does NOT mean that person is any less masculine or feminine and therefore worthy of dismissal.

He calls men who are not into anal sex “Sides” – a term that describes yet another perspective on gay male sex and normalizes a cultural misperception that we all have about men.

I highly recommend reading Joe’s article . It’s time to change our culture’s beliefs around gender roles.

Why aren’t women happy? (surprising new research)

FACT: Women in the West today have truly become the most autonomous, independent, educated and powerful generation in recorded history…

We’re being heralded as the saviors of the global economy, we’re graduating from college in higher numbers than men, and we’re now the primary breadwinners in American households. We’re also the majority in self-development programs, yoga studios and spiritual communities. The Dalai Lama even prophesied that we’ll “save the world.”

So, with all this opportunity, WHY are studies showing that we’re feeling less happy, more lonely, unwell and depressed than ever before? In spite of all of our gains over the last 50 years, most of us are experiencing a confusing and painful gap between what we sense is possible for our lives and the reality of our daily experience.

Did you know that:
- 50% of us are now living alone without a partner
- One in five of us is on anti-depressants (not counting those of us who feel unhappy and unfulfilled)
- 75% of us have unhealthy relationships with food and our own bodies (and that doesn’t even account for those of us who moan about our thighs!)
- 6 out of 10 of us can’t sleep at night and experience overwhelming financial stress (which is the #1 cause of chronic disease)
- Even though we’re launching small businesses left and right, 95% of us never break the 6-figure barrier to experience the greater success and impact we know we’re here to make.

In spite of all we’ve gained from the feminist and self-empowerment revolutions, it doesn’t seem that the pot of gold we’d hoped for is at the end of the rainbow.

So, ladies, it’s time to ask the million-dollar question:

Why is it that in spite of our accomplishments and years of personal and spiritual growth, we haven’t been able to access the power we need to thrive?

This is the question that my good friends, women’s transformation experts, Claire Zammit, Ph.D.c. & bestselling author Katherine Woodward Thomas, MA, MFT, have been answering for the last seven years.

At a special no-charge online women’s event happening on Saturday, October 13th, they’re going to share the keys they’ve discovered in their work with hundreds of thousands of people all over the world. They’re also going to share the exact step-by-step process they and thousands of women have used to bridge this gap and fulfill their highest calling, deepest potential, and create an extraordinary life.

Register Here >>> Awaken Your Feminine Power

You’ll need to hear Claire and Katherine explain it, but this is the basic thread… We women have been sourcing the WRONG kind of power to create the things we are now yearning for the most! For the last 50 years we’ve been mastering a logical, linear MASCULINE power system — which has empowered us to create those things that are predictable and controllable. Even our spiritual and psychological practices have been created primarily by men, who still don’t fully understand the different ways women develop and evolve. We have more education, more money, more success, more analysis and understanding of our “issues,” more things checked off on our to-do lists than ever. But… Masculine power hasn’t given us access to the ability to create those things that can’t be controlled with a strategic, step-by-step plan…

Those things your heart and soul are aching for, such as true love, intimacy, spiritual connection, self-expression, creativity, right livelihood, the fulfillment of your destiny or higher calling, creating an enlightened world for generations to come; all of these require the awakening of FEMININE power to bring them forth.

I am extremely excited that this priceless information on Feminine Power is available to you at no charge. Claire and Katherine insisted on making it available this way. They felt this was such vital information for all women to have that they didn’t want finances to be a barrier for anyone.

Join me and a global tribe of extraordinary women who’ll be coming together for this very special virtual online event — there’s nothing like the power of group energy to cause a breakthrough in your life!

And make sure you sign up even if you can’t be there live — they’ll gladly send you the recording.
I can’t wait for this event to happen and I hope to “see” you there!

To coming fully ALIVE together,

Tammy

Sex life in a slump?

When sexual desire is lacking, it can affect all areas of your life. Cristin Whiting suggests asking yourself, “How am I living?” If you’re not giving yourself the time and energy to truly enjoy your life then desire for sex may be an issue.   Read her article “Libido, Libido! Wherefore Art Thou?” at www.elephantjournal.com for more suggestions on how to get your sexy back.

Dr. Adam Sheck’s Own Your Mission

Dr. Adam Sheck is a licensed psychologist and “mission specialist”, certified in Imago Relationship Therapy and has been counseling and mentoring clients for over twenty years. He talks about his latest mission – being a mission specialist.

What exactly IS a mission specialist?
It’s a term that I appropriated from NASA’s space program, which is only fitting, as I was an engineer before I became a psychotherapist. I’ve always been interested in connecting people with their passion. I have specialized for years in helping couples bring passion back in their relationships. And while I still love working with couples and continue to do so, now in the second half of my life, the concept of a ‘mission’ and finding a life purpose has been calling to me. If I look at my work as a psychologist over the decades, ultimately it has been about connecting people to their real passion; their purpose.

I’ve drawn on my psychological experience as well as my engineering background to help people remove the blocks in the way to living their mission fully.

What do you mean by mission?
For me, mission has four components:
1. Finding your gifts & talents.
2. Focusing on your values.
3. Living your passion.
4. Finding your contribution to the planet, what some call your “calling.”

To be successful in living your mission, you must have all four components firing together. If your talents go against your values, you will never be successful. If you have no passion, yet have the gifts, you won’t have the fuel to continue on. Similarly, if your mission is only about you and doesn’t contribute to society in some way, it will ultimately prove unsatisfying.

When you discover or uncover your mission and fully live and express it, that’s what I call OWNING your mission.

What is YOUR mission?
My mission has evolved over the years, and it continues to evolve. For today:

My mission is to use my gifts and talents to empower and mentor others in owning their mission while having fun on the journey.

The having fun part is really crucial both to me and for my clients. I’m too old to do anything that isn’t fun and satisfying to me anymore. And supporting men and women in finding their mission is fun. Yes, it’s a lot of work, it is challenging and it can be painful to identify and remove the blocks to owning your mission. AND, the work is serious but, it also has to be fun, which is one of my values.

How can we find out more about your work as a Mission Specialist?
I’ve created a Special Report, “The Secret To Owning Your Mission!” which your readers can receive when they become a free member of the Own Your Mission Community. There is no obligation and a few more perks as well, including a complimentary 30 minute Mission Strategy Session with me via telephone or Skype. You can find out more at www.ownyourmission.com. You can also email me your questions at adam@ownyourmission.com

Thank you so much, Tammy, for this opportunity to share my work on mission.

Check out Adam’s Facebook page at www.facebook.com/ownyourmission

Yoga for Sexual Health

Did you know your regular yoga habit is a boost to your sexual life? A study in India has found that women who did yoga for 45 minutes a day saw improvement in their experience of pain, arousal and orgasms. If you’re new to yoga, check out this series of yoga especially designed for improving sexual health with Wendy Stragr and Caitlin Young:

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Science wins again! Good Clean Love lubricant is the safest for the body

Good Clean Love were recently part of a study done by biophysicist at John’s Hopkins and they found that Good Clean Love lubricant was the safest for the body. I’m so proud to know that my favorite organic and natural lubricants have proven themselves, not only in the bedroom, but in the lab as well.

Can your porn habit negatively affect your ability to experience pleasure?

On a recent Dr. Oz episode, a panel of experts included Ian Kerner, author of the celebrated book She Comes First and creator of the website “Good In Bed,” discussed how a problematic pornography habit can affect a person’s ability to experience erotic pleasure and what can be done to treat it. It was a fast-paced discussion covering everything from neurology and anatomy to behavioral interventions and guidelines to communication to help couples overcome this hurdle in their relationship. In the end, the discussion and advice was sex-positive and supportive of pornography as an erotic stimulus.

It’s available online in 4 parts – grab a cup of coffee (or tea) and check out this great discussion.

From Ian Kerner’s email to the AASECT list:

“I was very relieved that Dr. Oz did not cut my final pro-porn words, and really I have to say that both Oz and his team of producers are really rather progressive on sexual matters, although the format of afternoon TV insists on a level of alarm in order to sell anything… it’s good to know that the segment was not immediately viewed as anti-porn, and that my point of view came through.”