Announcing a new opportunity to learn with me, LIVE in Washington DC.
Erotic Recovery after Infidelity – Creating a New Monogamy
What are the newest forms of therapy for treating affairs? What doesn’t work? Why are some forms of affair treatment outdated and even contraindicated? How can sex therapy help couples after the trauma of infidelity?
Using theoretical models that work, this seminar will introduce research and interventions to help couples recover from affairs. Using case examples to illustrate how trauma and breaches of monogamy affect sexuality participants will learn how to help couples restore (or create) erotic energy after an affair.
The AASECT Forum will take place on Saturday, May 4th, at Whitman Walker Clinic in Washington, DC.
$30.00 tax deductable donation to AASECT.
Saturday, May 4th 1st, 12:00 – 4:00 pm
Noon to 1:00pm – Potluck brunch, socializing and networking
1:00 to 4:00pm – Presentation (3 AASECT CE Credits)
Excerpted from The New Monogamy; Redefining Your relationship After Infidelity
Often, when we discover that a partner has been cheating, the first question is an anguished “Why?” This often-unanswerable question is what drives us to ruminate on what happened, and we may force our partners to talk about the details over and over again, hoping to find the answers we are searching for.
One of the first things you will need to do to heal from an affair is to explore this question of why it happened and to be open to hearing the real, honest truth. Most people want to blame the cheating partner. And the cheating partner does have to take responsibility for pursuing the outside relationship. But no affair happens in a vacuum.
A new article recently went up on my YourTango blog:
There are three common experiences for women who have had affairs, and although these are not excused let’s face it; cheating is not just a man’s game.
Studies say that up to 45% of women and 55% of men will cheat at some point in their marriage. That means that about half of everyone will have an outside relationship with someone while they are committed to someone else. And these statistics show clearly that it’s not just the guys who are doing it.
There are three common experiences for women who have had affairs, and although these are not excuses for cheating, they may explain why some women step out and others stay home.
Read the full article over on YourTango
Originally posted on HuffingtonPost
Excerpted from The New Monogamy; Redefining Your Relationship After Infidelity
The immediate response after discovering a spouse’s affair is commonly disbelief, anger, sadness, loss or grief. It can take several years before the betrayed spouse is ready to even consider forgiveness, even if the partner who cheated begs for it. And through the cheating partner may immediately feel remorse and repeat “I’m sorry” over and over again, that apology may not get past the betray’ed partner’s outer layer of hurt.
However, it is possible to move on and rebuild after infidelity. I have identified three distinct phases of recovery from an affair: the crisis phase, the understanding (or insight) phase, and the vision phase.
Read the full excerpt
For more information, click here.
I had the esteemed privilege of being a featured guest on The Kathryn Zox Show, a popular VoiceAmerica radio show on Wednesday, March 20th. The archived recording is now available on the VoiceAmerica site. I greatly appreciate the opportunity to reach couples struggling with healing after infidelity.
The official show summary:
Kathryn interviews sexuality expert and psychotherapist Tammy Nelson PhD on her book “The New Monogamy: Redefining Your Relationship After Infidelity”. Nelson helps to explain why some people choose to stay together even after infidelity, and offers practical guidance, checklists, and even questionnaires to help committed couples renew their relationship. Nelson is the founder and Director of the Center for Healing and leads couples workshops around the country. Kathryn also interviews internationally recognized psychologist Patricia O’Gorman PhD on her book “The Resilient Woman: Mastering the 7 Steps to Personal Power”. O’Gorman takes a deeper look at how societal messages tell women what they can and cannot do and offers self-assessments that any woman can use to identify her strengths, weaknesses, and resilience style. O’Gorman has appeared on Good Morning America and has authored several articles in Addiction Today, Counselor, and Recovery magazines.
Listen to The Kathryn Zox Show
Click the link to listen to the show, download the MP3, listen through iTunes, or listen on the VoiceAmerica free phone app!
Just because they cheat once does it mean the relationship is over or they’ll cheat again?
You had some big plans. You did. You wanted a romantic relationship, the kind that lasts forever. And yours was supposed to be special. Sure, lots of people cheat, but not your partner.
And at first your relationship seemed perfect. There were flowers, chocolate, cards on Valentine’s day. After months of wine and candles and sexy lingerie the erotic steam dwindled. Sex was down to once a week, and not necessarily in the way you always dreamed. But that was to be expected. Everyone says that, the longer you’re together, the less sex you have.
But, in the end you got what lots of your friends got. They had an affair.
But you have a plan. As soon as he leaves for work you sign up for a website that gives you advice on how to end a relationship after an affair. That’s great and could be an important thing to do. But it could be only one option. What if it’s not what either of you wants to do?