Another story of gender stereotypes that may not be true. A new study from Australia shows that women are far more interested in pleasurable sexual experiences than our culture will have us think. It’s a great discussion that I think is very important to have. Read the whole story and share your personal experience with me on my Facebook page!
Wouldn’t it be nice if there was a set of rules or instructions for having a perfectly satisfying relationship? I’m pretty sure that’s completely unrealistic! Psychotherapist and columnist Philippa Perry suggests that it’s unhealthy to approach a relationship in such a way – each person is unique, and therefore each relationship is unique, and approached with flexibility. Read her article How to Have Good Relationships. What’s your opinion?
“Studies have linked porn consumption to sexual aggression, problems with intimate relationships and losing one’s virginity at an earlier age. But the influence of sexually explicit material on some risky behaviors may be more modest than previously thought.”
Read more: Study: Porn May Not Be Such a Bad Influence on Sexual Behavior
The best gift ever: showing her that you appreciate her this Mother’s Day.
Being a mom is the hardest job of all time. I don’t care what anyone says. It’s hard. And I have a hard job.
Being a mom is a full-time job. So if you have a career as well, you are constantly working two full-time jobs. One day out of the year, a homemade card and pancakes in bed is not too much to ask for. A massage, a manicure, flowers, some attention. That’s all I want. (Well, maybe a new Coach bag too.) Actually, all I really want is some acknowledgement that the major sacrifices that I have made, every day of my children’s lives since the moment of conception, is recognized and appreciated.
And if you’re a husband, it’s important to make the mother of your children feel appreciated—or the resentment she feels when you don’t notice her struggles can erode the foundation of your marriage. Mothers want acknowledgement on Mother’s Day not only from their kids, but from the father of their children. And if a wife and mother doesn’t feel appreciated for the major balancing job she does, the physical exhaustion she experiences, and the emotional depletion that comes with mothering, she may turn to someone else for emotional renewal.
Yes, there will be a scholarly journal dedicated to the study of pornography and it’s relation to culture, economy, history, institutions, legal and social contexts. This is a great improvement for the field of human sexuality and I’m looking forward to the first issue in 2014.
Porn Studies, to be published by Routledge, will critically explore cultural products and services designated as pornographic. My friend and colleague Marty Klein is on the editorial board. Do you agree that its time porn got its intellectual place in the field of mental health?
In this intriguing article, Ruth Buczynski presents new research that shows partners of veterans returning from combat suffered as much physical stress response as their loved one. I wonder if this could be true for other types of psychological stress or trauma like rape or violence? Trauma is a complicated experience and may be far more influential physiologically and psychologically than we previously thought. Have you ever worked with a couple suffering from PTSD? How were you able to help them? If you’re working with challenging couples, come to my Retreat in Santa Cruz June 28-30 and find out how to work with trauma and PTSD. Or join my latest teleclass with Gina Ogden and myself, Challenging Clients in Sex Therapy.
Did you know that the pain of a broken heart can actually be felt physically, in your body? The good news is, you can heal through your body as well. It’s tough to heal from a heartbreak, particularly because it effects all the parts of you; emotionally, spiritually, and physically. But you can move through a broken heart. Whiting says, “The process of going from hole to whole can actually begin with the body.”
If it feels like there’s a hole in your heart, your soul, check out Cristin Whiting’s article Power, Flexibility & Balance: Lessons from the Body to Heal the Heart
It’s no surprise to me that vaginal cosmetic surgery is rising in popularity – I’ve heard it more than a few times. It is a disturbing trend and so sad to me. Here’s a discussion on women’s sexual self esteem, and how they feel about their bodies that is informative and amusing. Read this if you wonder if your vagina is normal, or if you want to remember how gorgeous you really are. Tanya Lee Markul’s article on elephantjournal.com: Your Ugly Vagina Is Normal & Gorgeous (NOTE: most definitely NSFW – lots of vaginas!)
My favorite quote?
“As if we need another item on our already massive list of things to stress over, or another body part to obsess about. Why is it now a big deal if our inner flappage is a bit longer than the outer bits?”
Thank you Tanya for saying what I’m thinking!
Here is your vagina trivia for the day. Tatyana has trained her muscles over 20 years and can now hold 30 lbs of weight using only the strength of her vagina. She started training with glass balls after having a child to help strengthen her muscles. Certainly everyone doesn’t need to hold 30 lbs of weight with their vagina, but this is proof that PC muscle exercises like kegels really work.
A new campaign by Dove has revealed how women’s perceptions of their own beauty can differ tremendously from those of strangers. The campaign’s tag line is, “You are more beautiful than you think.” It’s remarkable to see how different we see ourselves compared to how others see us. It’s pretty clear that nearly all of us have an inaccurate sense of our own appearance. Check it out.
