Dr Tammy Nelson

Women want sex, too!

Tammy — Fri, 17 May 2013 14:20:47 +0000

Another story of gender stereotypes that may not be true. A new study from Australia shows that women are far more interested in pleasurable sexual experiences than our culture will have us think. It’s a great discussion that I think is very important to have. Read the whole story and share your personal experience with me on my Facebook page!

Is there a magic button for a perfect relationship? No!

Tammy — Wed, 15 May 2013 15:00:33 +0000

Wouldn’t it be nice if there was a set of rules or instructions for having a perfectly satisfying relationship? I’m pretty sure that’s completely unrealistic! Psychotherapist and columnist Philippa Perry suggests that it’s unhealthy to approach a relationship in such a way – each person is unique, and therefore each relationship is unique, and approached with flexibility. Read her article How to Have Good Relationships. What’s your opinion?

Is porn a negative influence on sexual behavior?

Tammy — Mon, 13 May 2013 15:45:06 +0000

“Studies have linked porn consumption to sexual aggression, problems with intimate relationships and losing one’s virginity at an earlier age. But the influence of sexually explicit material on some risky behaviors may be more modest than previously thought.”

The One Thing All Mothers Really Want For Mother’s Day

Tammy — Sun, 12 May 2013 23:48:34 +0000

The best gift ever: showing her that you appreciate her this Mother’s Day.

Being a mom is the hardest job of all time. I don’t care what anyone says. It’s hard. And I have a hard job.

Being a mom is a full-time job. So if you have a career as well, you are constantly working two full-time jobs. One day out of the year, a homemade card and pancakes in bed is not too much to ask for. A massage, a manicure, flowers, some attention. That’s all I want. (Well, maybe a new Coach bag too.) Actually, all I really want is some acknowledgement that the major sacrifices that I have made, every day of my children’s lives since the moment of conception, is recognized and appreciated.

And if you’re a husband, it’s important to make the mother of your children feel appreciated—or the resentment she feels when you don’t notice her struggles can erode the foundation of your marriage. Mothers want acknowledgement on Mother’s Day not only from their kids, but from the father of their children. And if a wife and mother doesn’t feel appreciated for the major balancing job she does, the physical exhaustion she experiences, and the emotional depletion that comes with mothering, she may turn to someone else for emotional renewal.

Read the full article over on YourTango.com

Things you should never say to a friend who’s been cheated on

Tammy — Sun, 12 May 2013 14:30:54 +0000

Originally posted to HuffingtonPost on 5/4/13

Your friend calls you in the middle of the night, crying. She sniffles and barely manages to say, “He did it again. He cheated!” You hold your breath because you aren’t sure what to say. You want to say the right thing. However, what comes out may be the the worst thing you can say.

Right now, your friend or loved one is in a crisis. They just found out that their partner cheated. Sure, there are things they want to hear. And you want to say them, because you want to comfort your friend. And you want to let your friend know that you are there for him or her in their misery. But trust me, if you say the wrong thing now, it could come back to bite you later on. And some things you say could be even worse — you could lose your friendship forever.

Do you want to really help them? Here are the things you should never say to a friend who’s been cheated on.

Routledge Will Publish a Porn Studies Journal

Tammy — Fri, 10 May 2013 15:20:46 +0000

Yes, there will be a scholarly journal dedicated to the study of pornography and it’s relation to culture, economy, history, institutions, legal and social contexts. This is a great improvement for the field of human sexuality and I’m looking forward to the first issue in 2014.

Porn Studies, to be published by Routledge, will critically explore cultural products and services designated as pornographic. My friend and colleague Marty Klein is on the editorial board. Do you agree that its time porn got its intellectual place in the field of mental health?

PTSD and Emotional Trauma Affects Partners Too

Tammy — Wed, 08 May 2013 14:45:42 +0000

In this intriguing article, Ruth Buczynski presents new research that shows partners of veterans returning from combat suffered as much physical stress response as their loved one. I wonder if this could be true for other types of psychological stress or trauma like rape or violence? Trauma is a complicated experience and may be far more influential physiologically and psychologically than we previously thought. Have you ever worked with a couple suffering from PTSD? How were you able to help them? If you’re working with challenging couples, come to my Retreat in Santa Cruz June 28-30 and find out how to work with trauma and PTSD. Or join my latest teleclass with Gina Ogden and myself, Challenging Clients in Sex Therapy.

Can a certain hormone cause people to cheat?

Tammy — Mon, 06 May 2013 15:40:35 +0000

Could oxytocin be the key to infidelity? Oxytocin helps people build trust and form strong emotional bonds. A new study has shown that men who receive higher levels of oxytocin keep their distance from attractive women, theoretically reducing the likelihood that they will have an affair. What do you think – will we be able to blame our biochemistry for our infidelity someday?

Read the article and watch the video on HuffingtonPost

Affairs are a hot topic!

Tammy — Sun, 05 May 2013 15:00:28 +0000

I’ve got two, yes TWO, articles on the home page of YourTango.com!

In the One Thing That Will Save Your Relationship After an Affair find out what one thing you can do to not only save your marriage but improve the health of any relationship. Learn the secret to creating a more loving, connected and fulfilling relationship today.

In How to Have an Affair… In Your Relationship I share three sexy ways to cheat on your partner, with your partner (yes it’s possible!). Cheating is all about the forbidden – creating illicit, exciting spontaneity – why not create some of that same excitement with someone you love and trust without the hurt and betrayal of a real affair?

On the radio – Relationships 2.0 with Dr. Michelle Skeen

Tammy — Sat, 04 May 2013 14:30:25 +0000

Curious about open relationships? Want to know about saving your marriage after an affair? Are the two things exclusive? This week I was a guest on Dr. Michelle Skeen’s radio show Relationships 2.0 on KCAA radio. The episode is now available as a podcast on her website.

Listen now to this lively discussion with a great host, and me as the guest, talking about my new book The New Monogamy.