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September Edition
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September 9, 2008
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The breakdown of marriage in the form of divorce is not so much a failure of couples to be in relationship as it is the demise of a form of marriage that no longer serves its purpose. Imago is helping couples achieve the relationship of their dreams in which they love and are loved. Harville Hendrix
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Though Conflict to Connection Take the Imago journey at home with this DVD-based program Visit the Imago Store to get your copy
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Why 95% of Marriages Fail
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By David Roche Now that I have your attention, I guess I’d better explain. I’m sure you’ve heard the divorce statistics, 50% of marriages end in divorce, over 60% of second marriages end in divorce. But the reality is that 95% of marriages fail to achieve what we’re all hoping for, to find real love. I believe that this extremely high failure rate is due to the lack of knowledge that we all have when we enter into the most important relationship of our lives. It’s not about whether we married the right person; it’s knowing the right purpose and understanding what we’re really getting into. When the romantic stage ends- and it’s actually supposed to end- the healing and growth can begin. The purpose of marriage is to help complete childhood, to help us develop into complete and joyful human beings along with our partner.Your partner is a key link to this childhood completion. Let’s go back and start at the beginning….childhood. Read more
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The Sexual Stages of Relationships
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By Tammy Nelson Falling in love is easy. That’s why we call it “falling” and not “climbing.” Sometimes we even plummet into love. This falling idea implies we don’t have a choice. It also means we don’t have control. Falling in love is an emotional bungee jump, an adventurous free fall into the unknown depths of imagined romance. There is an element of excitement to that “falling” feeling. When we relax our guard and let ourselves love another person, we get into the rush. It’s only later that we say to ourselves, “Oh, wait, what was I thinking?” Long-term relationships are not a death sentence for desire. In the early phases of romantic love, everything feels easy. We are excited to see our beloved. We think about them often. We desire them sexually. And sometimes we feel like we can’t get enough. Read more
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Harville's Non-negotiable Tips to a Successful Partnership
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Q: What is the key to successful partnership?
A: In order to have vibrant and successful partnership, four things are non-negotiable: 1. Eliminate negativity - Don't criticize your partner. This is a challenge, but essential. 2. Become your partner's advocate - As Helen [LaKelly Hunt, his wife and co-founder of Imago] and I often say, we're partners. Your welfare and achievements and your desire to fulfill all of your dreams and potential is my project. When we do that mutually, we are into advocacy. 3. Engage otherness - Use the Imago Dialogue process to become engaged on such a deep level with your partner that you experience the fact that your partner is not YOU. 4. Love unconditionally - Usually when I appreciate something, like the cup of coffee Helen brings me in the morning or how she handled the kids, it's related to something that made me more comfortable. Most of the time we love our partners most when they are not messing with us.
When in doubt, repeat # 1. Real love is valuing your partner independent of any conditions they have to meet...
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New for Imago Therapists, Educators, and Trainees The new Start Right, Stay Connected one day workshop is now ready for you.This seminar is the result of over two years of work by a dedicated a team of Imago Therapists.You don't need to be a workshop presenter to lead this seminar. All that's required is a minimum of FACT A training. The seminar includes topics on Romantic Love, the power struggle, brain research, re-romanticizing your relationship, zero negativity, affair prevention, and wedding planning. Approximately 25 present of couples have report having had some premarital counseling. Don't miss your opportunity to enter this important field. Go to the Imago Shop
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