For Therapists

The Intentional Divorce: Helping Couples Let Go with Dignity

I’ve always made it my primary goal to save the marriage, if at all possible; however, I’ve often felt that I was working harder at it than either of the partners involved, especially with the couples who come to my office only to check off an imaginary box—“tried couples therapy”—before heading off to consult their respective lawyers. Of course, even among these last-ditch efforts, some unhappy couples do find new and better ways of relating to each other during therapy and decide to stick together. But what I’ve come to realize is that once a marriage has sufficiently unraveled, therapy often hits an impasse, and divorce becomes an inevitable reality.

At one time in my career, I’d have considered divorce as an outcome of therapy to be a failure—by the couple and by me. But over the years, I’ve learned to think of it as another opportunity to help. I’ve come to realize that I can support divorcing couples by helping them explore viable alternatives to the often wounding and adversarial legal process that normally ends marriages—a process that can make what’s already a bad situation for the couple, their children, and their extended families incalculably worse. I’ve learned that I can help couples end their union in as thoughtful and pragmatic a way as possible. In other words, both partners can come through the experience with their dignity intact, their sanity whole, and in a greater spirit of cooperation and goodwill—attributes they’ll need as they continue to share responsibilities for their investments, their interests and their children.

Thus, when couples clearly intend to divorce, I often guide them through what I call an intentional divorce, which I reframe as not the end but the completion of their marriage.

Read the full article in The Psychotherapy Networker here

Want to learn more about helping couples face separation and divorce, how to introduce a process for healing with intention? October 2nd I will be teaching a free webinar for GoodTherapy.org members with clear and effective treatment strategies to apply in your work with couples as they determine how to move toward a healthy separation when necessary.

Register for the webinar at GoodTherapy.org

New Book for clinicians: Sex Made Simple by Barry McCarthy

I love to support friends and colleagues who are leaders in changing how we talk about sex within couples therapy. Barry McCarthy is doing just that with his newest book specially for clinicians dealing with sexual problems and sex therapy, Sex Made Simple: Clinical Strategies For Sexual Issues in Therapy. If you’re ready to integrate sex therapy into your Marriage and Family Therapy practice, start here and save 20% off Amazon’s price with this order form:
Sex Made Simple_ORDER NOW_Form2Sex Made Simple_ORDER NOW_Form2

New Webinar for GoodTherapy.org: Intentional Divorce after an Affair

I invite you to join me online in October for a special presentation for GoodTherapy.org members. I will guide you through five essential strategies for helping couples facing separation and divorce, introduce a process for healing with intention, and provide interventions that facilitate couples as they navigate each stage of the process. You will learn clear and effective treatment strategies to apply in your work with couples as they determine how to proceed and to help them move toward a healthy separation when necessary.

Drawing upon my years of experience, we will look at case examples and evaluate contemporary treatment intervention strategies. You will acquire empowering techniques that will serve you and your clients as they intentionally and conscientiously close their relationships after infidelity, allowing all of you to avoid experiencing further trauma, chaos, or feelings of failure.

This intermediate, instructional level web conference is designed to help clinicians:

  • Define how to end a relationship with integrity and describe the importance of closure after an affair.
  • List five essential strategies in facilitating intentional divorce therapy after infidelity and explain how the process can be healing for couples.
  • Explain how partners collude with the narrative that leads to divorce, how healthy dissolution can be achieved, and how separation does not necessarily imply treatment failure, but can, in fact, help each person move toward a healthy individual and family life.
  • Describe the process for healing shame and helping couples move toward decision making, facilitate intervention, improve communication, work through grief, and cultivate a new vision for the future.If you have any questions or would like more information, please see the event listing on GoodTherapy.org: An Intentional Divorce After An Affair

20% of women in college are sexually assaulted

As a woman, a mother, a teacher, a therapist, I’m horrified and sad to know that 20% of women in college in the US experience sexual assault. This statistic has been challenged by men’s rights activists but a new study covering a wide variety of colleges indicates these figures may be accurate. (Source: That “flawed” statistic that 20% of women in college are sexually assaulted? It’s true

Thankfully, with more publicity and awareness, the volume on the discussion of sexual assault is being turned up in big ways. Colleges are increasing their prevention efforts including supporting education on campus focusing on consent.

This statistic also suggests that 1 in 5 women who attended college carry the trauma and emotional pain of having experienced sexual assault. It can be frightening to open up emotionally and physically with a loved one when memories of assault clutter your mind. But all hope is not lost, because you can heal your erotic relationship.

Reminder: New AASECT Supervision Group for EAST COAST

My new AASECT Supervision Group is great for anyone on the East Coast, you don’t have to be local! We will meet for four hours, so make it a day trip, or plan a working vacation!

Register for JUNE 26th GROUP (discounts for advance registration)
Registration is limited, first come first serve

This is AASECT Certification In-Person Supervision Groups (4 hours each)

June 26th, 2015 from 12:00 – 4:00 pm EDT

Meeting location: New Haven, Connecticut 06511

Each participant will have time to present cases, ask questions, and learn from other participants. Group leader, Dr. Tammy Nelson, is recognized expert in the field of sexuality, psychotherapy and relationships counseling.
Group discussion, case intervention and optional presentation may include videos. Suggestions for practice of hands on skills and therapeutic advanced skills offered. Resources, reading materials provided.

Maximum participation is encouraged. All experience and backgrounds are encouraged to participate, and all dynamics and approaches welcome.

AASECT Certification Hours Available

Register for a group by emailing TammyNelsonAsst@gmail.com and reserving your spot online at DrTammyNelson.com/for-therapists/supervision_training/

SPECIAL TOPICS AND EXPERTISE INCLUDE COUPLES THERAPY, SEXUALITY, INFIDELITY, RELATIONSHIP ISSUES, IMAGO THERAPY, ADDICTIONS, DIVORCE, WRITING AND PUBLISHING, PRACTICE BUILDING, CAREER ISSUES, SEX THERAPY

AASECT SUPERVISION FOR SEX THERAPISTS, COUNSELORS AND EDUCATORS

Announcing: New In-Person AASECT Certification Supervision Group in New Haven, CT

I’m honored and excited to announce that I have launched a new in-Person AASECT certification supervision group that will meet at my office in New Haven, CT starting July 26!

Each group will meet for four hours, from 12 noon until 4 pm Eastern time. There are three dates to choose from: July 26, Sept 25 or Oct 23, 2015. Please indicate your choice of day at time of registration.

I have also extended my Online Group Supervision and have a couple of openings in two phone/online Supervision groups:

June 4, June 25 and July 9th Thursdays 10:30am to 12:00pm

June 1, June 15, June 29 and July 13th Mondays 3:30 to 5:00pm

Register for a group by emailing TammyNelsonAsst@gmail.com and reserving your spot here.

Working in a group setting with a PhD Board Certified, Master Level, Expert therapist, supervision will give you a chance to share your cases and hear ample feedback and receive interventions and direction from me, and from the group.

Each participant will have time to present cases, ask questions, and learn from other participants. Group discussion, experiential intervention and optional homework may include reading material, videos, and other suggestions for practice of hands on skills. Maximum participation is encouraged. All experience and backgrounds are encouraged to participate, and all dynamics and approaches welcome.

Supervision for beginners to advanced practitioners
Special topics and expertise include couples therapy, sexuality, infidelity
AASECT supervision for sex therapists and educators
Supervision for LPCs and other consultation available upon request

It’s not easy being a Mompreneur

Many of you may or may not know that I did a series of informative videos for KidsInTheHouse.com about pregnancy, parenting, recovering from infidelity, etc. Today I want to congratulate creator ofKidsInTheHouse.com, Leana Greene, for her success as both an entrepreneur and as a Mom. As any working mother knows, balancing family and work obligations can be a daunting task. Being a mom and an entrepreneur requires extra dedication and even less sleep. Leana Greene has it together and she shared 3 tips for Success in both Business and Parenting for the readers of Success.com.

Read it here: A Mompreneur’s 3 Tips to Succeed in Business and Parenting

For more advice on parenting, check out this video fromKidsInTheHouse.com with advice from celebrities like Geena Davis, Arianna Huffington, Tiffani Thiessen, Ricki Lake and more.

New book for small business – Evan Leepson’s Critical Connections

One of my students from the Writing and Publishing group has published his first book! Evan Leepson, MBA’s Critical Connections will be available June 1st. Evan finished his book proposal in my Writing and Publishing course and I’m honored to share it with you because I believe in the power of referral marketing.

The description from the publisher’s site:

Evan Leepson Critical ConnectionsCritical Connections is written for small business owners, the self-employed and those who provide professional and personal services. Part workbook and part self-help and resource guide, it guides you step-by-step through strategies and tactics geared to building business relationships using traditional and social media marketing.

Loaded with tips, tactics, quizzes, real-life stories and examples, this hands-on workbook will help you create your own customized marketing plan. It delivers answers to your burning marketing questions:

— Where do I begin?

— What do I really need to know about social media?

— Why do I have to put so much time and energy into networking?

— How do I get the best bang for my marketing buck?

Critical Connections reframes the definition of marketing as the care and feeding of strategic relationships and personal interactions with both referrers and clients. By the time you have finished the exercises presented, you will have created a marketing plan that will propel your business forward and relieve the stress that many small business owners feel when faced with marketing their businesses or services.

When you’re ready to write and publish your own book, sign up for my next session of Writing and Publishing for Professionals beginning September 15, 2015.

Whether you are writing to publish nonfiction, a memoir or a clinical book or article, this course will help you to feel motivated, break through your writers block, and give you a finished product to either self publish, or submit to a literary agent or publishing house. This course will help you decide what your best course of action will be for your particular project and will offer you resources, guidance, alternatives and potential for publication.

Now Offering Expanding Your Business Consulting Sessions

Do you want to expand or grow your private practice or small business?
Find out how the most successful entrepreneurs are doing it. Find your expertise, learn the skills to market yourself, and create a strategy for success.  Are you trying to sell a book, find an agent, or expand your private practice?  Do you want to reach more people with your healing skills?
I am fascinated by your ideas. I want to hear what are you working on: What is your mission? What do you want to expand?

Please take a moment and ask yourself these three short questions:

Number One:  What is the biggest problem you face right now in your work?
Number Two:  What do you need help with in developing your business?
Number Three:  What do you appreciate about your work now?

Why do I ask you these questions?  It helps me to know what I can do to help you in your work.

I may have some ideas about how I can expand and personalize your business or private practice and how I can help you be a successful entrepreneur. Let me help you create a plan to fit your needs. In a series of sessions, I can help you Boost Your Business and Love What You Do.

Interested? You have options:

1. One 90 minute session.
2. Four sessions, 90 minutes each.
3. Ten sessions; Four at 90 minutes, Six at 60 minutes each.
4. One four hour in person session.

All sessions can be over Phone, Webinar or Skype.

PAYMENT plans are available or save 10% when you pay for five or ten sessions right now.

For more information including rates, contact me directly.

Tomorrow! Exclusive Invitation for Women Who Want to Create a Better World

Women on the Edge of Evolution Online ConferenceIf you’re familiar with my work and my colleagues, you probably already know that women have a critical role to play in creating a better world.

If you want to be one of those women, or want to play an even bigger role than you already do, then this exciting free global online women’s conference will show you how to do that in ways both large and small that won’t steal time away from your already busy life.

Women on the Edge of Evolution is the celebrated virtual conference with today’s leading female change-makers and influencers, and it’s just around the corner.

If you’re feeling a burning desire to unleash your power, creativity, vision and voice to create a life of meaning, impact, contribution and authentic success, you won’t want to miss this!

It all begins tomorrow! If you’re ready, sign up here.

The event is being hosted by Claire Zammit, herself a transformational teacher and leader who facilitates the Feminine Power courses that have impacted over 300,000 women globally.

Claire is bringing together more than 20 leading female thinkers, artists and change-agents, including Arianna Huffington, Marianne Williamson, Iyanla Vanzant, Lisa Nichols, Jean Houston, Sandra Yancey, Arielle Ford, Ali Brown Barbara Marx Hubbard, Marci Shimoff and Katherine Woodward Thomas, among many others, to engage the most important questions we face as women making a difference.

Together, the presenters at this event have impacted and influenced more than 500 million people.

These speakers have been exactly where you are and can help you to create the life and contribution you were born for.

Women on the Edge of Evolution Online Conference

Find Out How to Attend Women on the Edge of Evolution Online Conference at Absolutely No Charge

Don’t miss this incredible opportunity to take your place among the world’s female change-makers.

Never before have women had so much opportunity to influence and impact the world with our gifts, values and voice—the era of feminine power is truly upon us.

Join me and these extraordinary leaders for Women on the Edge of Evolution, and feel our collective power grow!

Make sure to tell your friends to join us for this power-house event just for women!