Getting the Sex you Want

No time for weekly therapy? A Couples Intensive may be the answer

Create a deeper love based on more sexual intimacy and better communication during a Couples Intensive with Tammy Nelson.

When the Universe says to us, “OK… let’s try this again, only this time you’re going to go through something even more intense… perhaps this time, you’ll get it.” Take the challenge and travel that Path… you never know what you might find.

Similar to a couple’s workshop, Intensives are private sessions for just the two of you with an expert couple’s psychotherapist. Come for one day, two days, or for a weekend and experience an in-depth intervention… one that will last a lifetime.

Working privately in my office, you will experience the same benefits of a weekend couples’ workshop, but with more direct focus on your personal issues. An Intensive can create dramatic and long lasting shifts in your relationship.

We can focus on special issues and conflicts in an Intensive such as:

  • Communication and Conflict Repair
  • Intimacy and Connection
  • Affair Recovery
  • Infidelity Disclosure
  • Re-Sexualizing Relationships
  • Sexual Addiction or Compulsion
  • Open Marriage or Polyamory Issues
  • Trauma and PTSD Recovery
  • Addiction and Eating disorder issues
  • Separation and Divorce coaching
  • Feelings of boredom, maintenance sex
  • Betrayal, frustration
  • Feeling out of love

I am currently booking couples intensives for June 2015 and beyond. If you’re ready to explore an exciting and effective way of creating intentional intimacy and connection in your relationship, contact me directly for more information and for rates.

Or book now and make a ($200) deposit for an Intensive session now.

Slipping into a sexual slump?

Are you finding yourself feigning a headache to get out of having sex with your lover? Has the honeymoon phase disappeared long ago? I have good news for you: you aren’t doomed to be stuck a sexless marriage.

I love this article from RedBook Magazine: Bounce Back From a Sex Slump – it has lots of great advice for turning the tides on a slipping sex life.

If you’re ready to discover ways to add more desire into your life, create arousal and heal sexual dysfunction, join me. During a special new tele seminar series, I will explore the role of fantasy and how to tell what your partner likes. We will examine your erotic template as a means for bringing light S&M techniques into your sex life. We will discuss what to do after an affair to bring your relationship back to life.

Sign up for Sexual Repair: Three Ways to Heal and Grow Your Erotic Self to find out three ways to bring more excitement into your sex life and repair sexual dysfunctional patterns that lead to boredom, shutdown and even dysfunction like premature ejaculation, orgasmic delay and lack of orgasm in women.

Aphrodisiac Foods that Really Work

girl eating a strawberryDid you know The Aztecs named avocados after testicles?

Many foods are known to be aphrodisiacs or great for fun sexy times (whipped cream or chocolate covered strawberries anyone?). But how do they work?

I recently contributed to an article for about 8 aphrodisiac foods that you might not have suspected!

Check the article and associated video here: Do Aphrodisiac Foods Work?

Entrepreneurs Have Better Sex

As the economy and job market struggles in the past 7 years, there’s been an increase in entrepreneurs and small businesses trying to find their slice of the financial pie. But the benefits of owning your own small business far exceed the income generated. We entrepreneurs love the flexible schedule, being able to do what we love, and not commuting to work. But did you know that entrepreneurs also sleep better and have better sex?

Check it out! Survey Says: Start a Business, It Might Improve Your Sex Life

If you’re ready to pursue your passions and upgrade your life, download the 3-part teleclass series that I recently completed with three of my fellow successful entrepreneurs: Grow Your Small Business and Be a Successful Entrepreneur

Can Sexual Healing Change the World?

As therapists, our primary ethical guideline is do no harm. Our second is to honor our clients’ autonomy and freedom of choice. As healers, this becomes most important when working with clients around sexuality and sexual expression. Sex positivity is a relatively new attitude born out of a sexual revolution against the conservative forces trying to inhibit our increasingly free sexual expression thanks to birth control, equality of the sexes, and greater acceptance of homosexuality.

Sex-positive practitioners helping our clients heal from harmful expressions of sexuality (disease, incest, rape, assault) are the leaders of a movement working to change the world’s attitude towards sexual expression, one person at a time.

For more reading and an in-depth discussion, don’t miss Alexandra Katehakis’ article on this topic on HuffingtonPost: Is the Sexual Healing Movement the New Sexual Revolution?

Monica Lewinsky and The Price of Sexual Shame

Monica Lewinsky has been shamed and publicly humiliated for decades now. She was blamed for the president’s shameful humiliation and dragged through a media storm never before seen in this country when she admitted, or was forced to admit, that she had a sexual affair with the then-president, Bill Clinton.

Although Clinton had a checkered past with other women, Lewinsky had become the focus of all of our public outrage about his affairs, and, what we learned from her recent TED speech, the brutalized victim of a new form of bullying, online attacks directly on her character.

After a decade, Monica recently stood up on the stage in Vancouver in front of a global Internet audience and declared that it was time to change her story.

And she did. She told us several things about her story that perhaps we didn’t know. Number one, she was in love with the president. She wasn’t just the party girl intern who thought it was cool to fool around with the big guy in the oval office, although I am sure that was part of the intrigue. And why not? It’s sexy to have an affair with a man in such a high place. But she had feelings for the man, and was hurt. She still thinks of her mistake as an “improbable romance.”

Her romanticizing of the relationship with the king of America makes her the girl who thought she could be queen, and may have almost helped her to justify her behavior, and yet from her speech we see more than that. We see a transparent, vulnerable, peek into the inner life of a young woman who became the butt of cruel jokes and unprecedented negative judgment. It was slut shaming at its finest.

Continue reading on HuffingtonPost: Monica Lewinsky and the Price of Sexual Shame

Sex makes you AWESOME at your job

Great sex just makes everything better — including your career.

Research shows that people who have more sex at home with their partner are more successful at work and do better in their careers. There are lots of ways that sex makes life better. But in your career, sex can actually help you succeed, get promoted and make more money.

Don’t believe me? In my most recent blog for YourTango, I shared the 5 Ways Sex Makes You AWESOME At Your Job (Says Science). Give it a try tonight and share your results with the community on my Facebook.

Video: How do you attract the perfect partner?

Anyone familiar with my work (Getting The Sex You Want or The New Monogamy) knows that a happy marriage full of love isn’t a magical fairytale like the culture tells us. If both partners are dedicated to giving to the relationship, then both partners will receive the love they want. So you’re ready to attract the perfect partner, but what do you do to bring Mr. or Mrs. Right into your life? What do we do when we are ready to find our soul mate?

As a host for YourTango, I asked the Experts to weigh in: “What steps can you take to attract the perfect partner?”

Imago Institute’s Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt, Tony Victor LCPC, Sue Butler LMFT and Certified Sex Therapist Kimberly Anderson get into the nitty gritty of the perfect relationship and what it takes to make things work.

The bottom line is that you can’t find genuine love if you don’t love yourself. In the following video, we make a convincing case for why you must get your own life in order BEFORE you can truly appreciate and enjoy your soul mate.


Video: What is a sex therapist?

Some people are unclear about what sex therapists do. I am so happy that Dale Allen and Arden Donahue invited me to share my work as a sexologist and sex therapist. We shared some great tips and tools to open the dialogue about great sex.

Watch the video:

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Negotiating and navigating open marriage

Can we discover what we want and don’t want in our monogamy agreement through others’ experiences? Some learn by doing, some learn by watching others. If you’re in the 2nd group and in the habit of negotiating your monogamy agreement (which if you’ve read my book The New Monogamy you should be) you may want to learn a thing or two from Robin Rinaldi’s journey through self actualization and sexual exploration.

Check out Tracy Clark-Flory’s interview here: The year-long open marriage experiment: What this woman learned could save your sex life

and then check out Robin’s book The Wild Oats Project: One Woman’s Midlife Quest for Passion at Any Cost