Partial Excerpt from The New Monogamy; Redefining Your Relationship After Infidelity
The new monogamy is a new way of looking at marriage and committed relationships. Most of us have followed a path to commitment that was provided for us by our culture and upbringing. We were taught what a committed relationship should look like, and we assumed that this was the only way to have a real partnership.
You may have had a vision since you were young of getting married. You fantasized about being with a certain type of person, committing to that person in a certain way, and having all of the trappings and ceremony of that explicit monogamy commitment. You may have dreamed of the perfect wedding dress or the most romantic vows. Perhaps you wanted to marry in the church or synagogue you grew up in because it had meaning for you, your family, or your community. You took vows that were based on promises that you were told were your religious beliefs and globally shared values.
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