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Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith are transparent about their open monogamy. Over the years they have hinted at their open relationship...

I’m so inspired by the words of wisdom from Cyan Banister, a young woman who went from high school dropout to successful, self-taught engineer, entrepreneur, and angel investor. She shared her advice on Business Insider on how to become successful in business. And it occurred to me that her suggestions work well for relationship success, as well. She self-disclosed her difficult path, which could have been seen as a failure in the business world, but she turned her history i

I clicked on my email and opened the 30 Second Newsletter . I don’t have much time so it helps me to catch up on the important things. I found the following gem about setting slightly terrifying goals in order to be successful. It occurred to me that there is a relationship between risk-taking and, well, successful relationships. Slightly terrifying goals “You should only be 60% sure you are going to achieve your goal. It should make you sweat a little when you think about i

Wedding season is almost upon us. Will you be tying the knot? If so, I’m sure you’re receiving tons of advice. But there are several things that people don’t typically tell the soon-to-be-married. I was interviewed recently by Wedding Wire and asked what I think are five things no one tells you about your first year of marriage. The quote they used was the fifth on my list (see below). Here’s the rest of what I told them. #1: Living Together is Wonderful No one tells you th

Are you like a zebra finch ? Zebra finches are social songbirds and, according to science, are sexually monogamous. A mated female zebra finch has a dopamine reaction only to the song of her mate. She experiences no pleasurable response to the songs of other male finches. Her male partner has no reason at all to feel jealous, because she is not interested in other males, no matter how attractive they are or how hard they try. Does Attraction Go Away in Monogamy? Some people b

A sexless marriage is not hard to define. If you are in a marriage that clearly has not been erotic or sexual for long enough that both of you feel deprived, you can classify it as “sexless.” How Sexless Marriages Develop I recently gave my expert opinion on recognizing the signs that you may be headed toward (or already in) a sexless marriage. Often it has been so long since you have had sex that it feels almost impossible to get back to it. For some couples this may be sev

Defining infidelity seems simple. Having sex with someone outside of your committed partnership means cheating, right? But today an affair can be tricky to define and identify. Below I share a selection of my articles and videos that can help you define what infidelity is, how to end an affair when you or your partner find yourself embroiled in one, and how to help your relationship recover after infidelity has rocked your monogamy. What is an Affair? At its most basic, infid

Photo by Alexander Solodukhin on Unsplash Open relationships are becoming more common every day. They’re also gradually becoming more accepted. However, hidden biases can show up in the words we use to talk about open relationships. Forever 39 Podcast cited a study from 2016, where four percent of respondents “admitted” they’d had an open relationship. While “more than half indicated they are morally opposed to the idea,” another 44% said “the request wouldn’t be an automat

Lots of couples go through it. Not everyone blogs about it. And very few post photos. In a recent piece by Yolonda Jones, both blog and photos show how powerful and poignant the process of recovering from an affair can be, fore both partners. Her words are raw and transparent. She writes directly about her devastation and what really happens in the wake of a betrayal. She unpacks the rollercoaster of their ride through PTSD and how they both managed. One of the most moving e

Which is Better: Monogamy or Nonmonogamy? Open marriages and polyamory are being hotly debated in the mainstream today. There are valid and viable reasons to stay monogamous and also many alternatives to traditional monogamy. The stereotypical perception of open marriage is that it is a form of infidelity and can be hurtful to a marriage. Yet many open and fluid arrangements are healthy and fulfilling, some more than traditional monogamous marriages. If You’re Opening Your Re

The recent New York Times Magazine article, “ Is an Open Marriage a Happier Marriage? ” has opened a national conversation about the controversial practice of consensual nonmonogamy. Change Can Be Scary Although a lot of the comments on that article were from readers who felt shocked and threatened by this new narrative, it makes sense that they responded with fear. Many people are afraid of change. And the comments on the article are revealing. They are an indication of jus

The idea of an open marriage may be new to many , but there have been people practicing some form of open marriage, or marriage with multiple partners, for decades. And in fact, many people are in marriages with multiple partners, they just don’t know about it. We call this cheating in our culture. Open Marriage is More Honest The recent New York Times Magazine article, titled “Is an Open Marriage a Happier Marriage,” reveals that increasing numbers of people are practicing

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to have an affair? To kiss or have sex with someone other than your spouse? Have you ever longed for more variety? Have you thought about it, maybe even met someone, but chose not to explore it further because you didn’t want to hurt your partner or break your vows? Lots of people experience similar thoughts. But what if you could follow through on some of those feelings with the consent of your partner? Would you do it? More peopl

Are you ready to break up or to wake up? That’s the first question to ask yourself after you or your partner has had an affair. If you think maybe it was a wake-up call, instead of a way out of the relationship, then there are three steps you can take to repair things between you. Check out my recent article on YourTango to learn the three steps necessary to recover and build a stronger, more passionate post-affair relationship. #infidelity #recoveringafterinfidelity #relat

Guest Author: Aviva Chansky Guttmann, LMSW Original article first published on www.NetworkTherapy.org Nature is not the only place to notice rebirth and renewal. We associate spring weather with new romances and the lightness we feel after winter’s weight and coldness. Often we are so glad to shed damp winter dreariness that we develop the colloquial spring fever. It’s a wonderful feeling of expanding boundaries and openness, and since many people around us are equally intoxi

In today’s changing world, there is no one right way to be in a relationship. In my book, The New Monogamy , couples can create a new type of agreement where they can change their implicit assumptions around their monogamy to a more explicit discussion, creating a more consensual relationship. In Carrie Jenkins’ book, What Love Is and What It Could Be , she talks about negotiating her world of loving relationships. Sometimes couples who are in implicitly monogamous relation

There are three simple steps that all couples who survive an affair move through to feel better. Can you recover after your partner has an affair?  There are three simple steps that all couples who survive an affair move through to feel better, stronger, sexier and more passionate than ever. Some couples even say they are happier after infidelity .  They have more intimacy , they feel connected and they know what they want for their future.  Are you one of those couples? If

Working with couples, I often see the struggle to recover from betrayal and infidelity. It can be difficult to imagine how a relationship...

Another study reveals that relationships are strengthened when we are grateful for our partners actions, supporting the tenants of Imago...

This study, “Tell Me About A Time When I was Awesome,” is from a ‘Best Self Study’ at Harvard Business School, and indicates that...