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Note: This was originally published at PESI-UK. You can read the original blog here . What are the tasks for couple therapy in the wake...

When You’re the One Who Cheats is available from Amazon.com ! bit.ly/whenyoucheat An excerpt from When You’re the One Who Cheats © RL...

An excerpt from When You’re the One Who Cheats © RL Publishing 2019 By Dr Tammy Nelson As an exploratory exercise, and to do research for this book , I logged onto one of the more popular “married but dating” websites, Ashley Madison, a website where married people meet other married people to have an affair. There are 54 million people worldwide on the website, and I wanted to know what was drawing so many people to the cheating site. I created a couple of profiles for myse

(An Excerpt from When You’re the One Who Cheats by Dr. Tammy Nelson) The following is an exercise to help you prepare to disclose an affair to your spouse. When revealing infidelity to your partner, it is important to handle the conversation with compassion. What you are about to tell them will undoubtedly be hurtful. You will need to show empathy and kindness when you tell your spouse about your affair. Think about the following five things before you begin. One. This conver

(An Excerpt from When You’re the One Who Cheats by Dr. Tammy Nelson) If you’re having an affair, and you want to disclose the affair to your spouse before you are confronted, here’s an exercise that may help you prepare. Use the following steps to help guide you before revealing the affair to your partner. You’ll want to handle this delicate conversation with respect, dignity and compassion. Remember, what you’re about to reveal to your spouse will undoubtedly hurt; you’ll ne

The “Casual Dating Affair” is one that evolves slowly. It sneaks up on you. Perhaps this has happened to you. You’re only going out for drinks, or for lunch, or for an occasional “business” dinner, with a friend or colleague. You’ve had a few of these get-togethers. This kind of casual relationship begins to turn into something more. You find yourself attracted to this person, you enjoy their company, you want to spend more time together. You text after dinner to say thanks.

Ashley Madison recently revealed that more men sign up for their online dating site during the month of October than any other month of the year. Ashley Madison is a website for married people to find other married people to date. I shared several reasons in their article why I thought this might be so. One reason? October is the start of “cuffing season.” What is Cuffing Season? Cuffing season is the time of year when people turn toward each other for warmth and companionshi

Defining infidelity seems simple. Having sex with someone outside of your committed partnership means cheating, right? But today an affair can be tricky to define and identify. Below I share a selection of my articles and videos that can help you define what infidelity is, how to end an affair when you or your partner find yourself embroiled in one, and how to help your relationship recover after infidelity has rocked your monogamy. What is an Affair? At its most basic, infid

Twenty five to sixty five percent of people cheat at some point in their marriage. The results of infidelity research are non-conclusive: we aren’t really sure exactly how many people cheat. Cheating is based on dishonesty, and those polled lie even to the researchers. When Do They Communicate? We do know that between 8 and 9 am on Monday mornings is apparently the most likely time that cheaters will communicate with their lovers. The site, Illicit Encounters, designed to fac

Lots of couples go through it. Not everyone blogs about it. And very few post photos. In a recent piece by Yolonda Jones, both blog and photos show how powerful and poignant the process of recovering from an affair can be, fore both partners. Her words are raw and transparent. She writes directly about her devastation and what really happens in the wake of a betrayal. She unpacks the rollercoaster of their ride through PTSD and how they both managed. One of the most moving e

The Internet is often brought up in couples conflicts and blamed for infidelity. There are more ways to cheat today than ever before. What Counts as Cheating? And each couple may define cheating differently. The types of infidelity can range from secretly viewing online porn, to chatting privately with ex partners, to seeking out new people on dating apps, or even to having a full-blown online affair, through a webcam where you can have both a sexual and an emotional relatio

Are you ready to break up or to wake up? That’s the first question to ask yourself after you or your partner has had an affair. If you think maybe it was a wake-up call, instead of a way out of the relationship, then there are three steps you can take to repair things between you. Check out my recent article on YourTango to learn the three steps necessary to recover and build a stronger, more passionate post-affair relationship. #infidelity #recoveringafterinfidelity #relat

There are three simple steps that all couples who survive an affair move through to feel better. Can you recover after your partner has an affair?  There are three simple steps that all couples who survive an affair move through to feel better, stronger, sexier and more passionate than ever. Some couples even say they are happier after infidelity .  They have more intimacy , they feel connected and they know what they want for their future.  Are you one of those couples? If

The dilemmas around sexuality in our culture abound. We often repress our true desires, confused about our fantasies, guilt and shame forcing us to detach them from our relationships and using the internet to avoid intimacy. But some couples today are finding ways to use cyber-sex to avoid distancing and create more intimacy in their relationships. Read the rest of my article recently posted to Thrive Global here: https://journal.thriveglobal.com/is-cyber-sex-ethical-e948d41a

You thought your relationship with your partner was perfect. Happily ever after wasn’t just a dream, it was your reality. Then, suddenly,...

My latest article on Huffington Post addresses what to do when you want to end an affair and move on: You are still hiding the affair. In...