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An excerpt from When You’re the One Who Cheats © RL Publishing 2019 By Dr Tammy Nelson As an exploratory exercise, and to do research for this book , I logged onto one of the more popular “married but dating” websites, Ashley Madison, a website where married people meet other married people to have an affair. There are 54 million people worldwide on the website, and I wanted to know what was drawing so many people to the cheating site. I created a couple of profiles for myse

An excerpt from When You’re the One Who Cheats © RL Publishing 2019 By Dr Tammy Nelson “Twenty percent of adults have practiced consensual non-monogamy at some point in their lives” – Wednesday Martin, Author of Untrue Marriage is evolving, adapting to our 21st-century sensibilities. You could have your cake and eat it, too. And why shouldn’t you? Most people, if they could arrange it, would want the cake and the marriage, too. But could you have it if you discussed it op

(An Excerpt from When You’re the One Who Cheats by Dr. Tammy Nelson) The following is an exercise to help you prepare to disclose an affair to your spouse. When revealing infidelity to your partner, it is important to handle the conversation with compassion. What you are about to tell them will undoubtedly be hurtful. You will need to show empathy and kindness when you tell your spouse about your affair. Think about the following five things before you begin. One. This conver

Guest Post by Rachael Pace You’ve been divorced for some time now and you’re starting to feel the loneliness kick in. Then your friend asks the dreaded question, “When are you going to get back out there?” The very thought of it makes your blood run cold. But are your nerves truly justified? Dating after divorce is like entering a brave new world of opportunity. It isn’t always easy, comfortable, or stress-free, but the results can be so rewarding when done right. So, is ther

(An Excerpt from When You’re the One Who Cheats by Dr. Tammy Nelson) If you’re having an affair, and you want to disclose the affair to your spouse before you are confronted, here’s an exercise that may help you prepare. Use the following steps to help guide you before revealing the affair to your partner. You’ll want to handle this delicate conversation with respect, dignity and compassion. Remember, what you’re about to reveal to your spouse will undoubtedly hurt; you’ll ne

The “Casual Dating Affair” is one that evolves slowly. It sneaks up on you. Perhaps this has happened to you. You’re only going out for drinks, or for lunch, or for an occasional “business” dinner, with a friend or colleague. You’ve had a few of these get-togethers. This kind of casual relationship begins to turn into something more. You find yourself attracted to this person, you enjoy their company, you want to spend more time together. You text after dinner to say thanks.

I recently read an inspiring article in The Guardian about several women who are working at the radical edge of sex positive feminism, called “ The Pleasure Revolution .” I was particularly struck by this line: “#MeToo was about men imposing their pleasure on women. The pleasure revolution is about women asserting their own pleasure.” Time to Claim Our Right to Sexual Pleasure Women, it’s time. Time to assert our rights to our own sexual pleasure. Throughout most of history,

Sometimes it can be hard to tell if your relationship is actually headed for the rocks. Or you might suspect that, in fact, it’s already over. But is it just a normal part of a relationship to be in conflict sometimes? How do you know if it’s really in trouble? Most of us get uncomfortable thinking about ending any long term partnership. It’s super scary to leave a comfortable relationship even if it’s not fulfilling, even if we become unhappy or close to miserable. We stay i

Adam Fields recently published an article at The Good Men Project called, “ An Open Letter to Women and Girls Everywhere .” In it, he was representing all the good men out there – the men who have never sexually assaulted a woman. Fields talked about how he and other men like him were just as dismayed as women that a judge was confirmed to the Supreme Court after a hearing failed to hold him accountable for his past. He talked about how vital the concept of Consent is to sex