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All couples have arguments. Fighting with your spouse can be a good sign. It could mean that you feel comfortable enough to be open with them about your true feelings. The problems start when you don’t know how to express those feelings and you turn a disagreement into an argument and it escalates, turns hurtful, and then turns into a fight. And most of us have not been trained how to have a fair fight. How many of us have been taught conflict management and conflict resoluti

Not getting the sex you want is never an excuse for violence Have you ever experienced a time in your life when you wanted to have sex but you didn’t have a partner and had trouble finding one? If not, you may have trouble understanding the mindset of a group of men who are now calling themselves Incel, which stands for involuntary celibacy. Many people have trouble making or maintaining sexual connections with others. Most of the time, those people simply deal with their rea

I was surprised by many statements in the recent article in America Magazine, “ #MeToo shows the dangers of ‘end-less’ sex. ‘Humane Vitae” shows the way forward. ” I think we need to think more about this idea of consent. What is consent and what does it have to do with sex? Does it justify all sexual behavior or does it lead the way to all great sex? What are we talking about when we talk about consent? How do feminists feel about consent? Does the idea of granting or gettin

I clicked on my email and opened the 30 Second Newsletter . I don’t have much time so it helps me to catch up on the important things. I found the following gem about setting slightly terrifying goals in order to be successful. It occurred to me that there is a relationship between risk-taking and, well, successful relationships. Slightly terrifying goals “You should only be 60% sure you are going to achieve your goal. It should make you sweat a little when you think about i

Wedding season is almost upon us. Will you be tying the knot? If so, I’m sure you’re receiving tons of advice. But there are several things that people don’t typically tell the soon-to-be-married. I was interviewed recently by Wedding Wire and asked what I think are five things no one tells you about your first year of marriage. The quote they used was the fifth on my list (see below). Here’s the rest of what I told them. #1: Living Together is Wonderful No one tells you th

Are you like a zebra finch ? Zebra finches are social songbirds and, according to science, are sexually monogamous. A mated female zebra finch has a dopamine reaction only to the song of her mate. She experiences no pleasurable response to the songs of other male finches. Her male partner has no reason at all to feel jealous, because she is not interested in other males, no matter how attractive they are or how hard they try. Does Attraction Go Away in Monogamy? Some people b

Valentine’s Day 2018 – the date of yet another school massacre. I read the news and my gut clenched. I still vividly remember the horror of what happened at Sandy Hook. I live in Connecticut. Sandy Hook is my community. Unfortunately, not much changed after Sandy Hook. Photo by Rhododendrites (Own work) [CC BY-SA 4.0] via Wikimedia Commons Today I’m feeling fiercely proud of the students of Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School for taking a stand. Public opinion on gun safety

Do you talk to your children about sex? What do you say to them about consent? As parents, we are responsible for teaching our kids not only positive values around sexuality, but also the meaning of consent. Kids are never too young to be taught about consequences, to understand the difference between consent and coercion, and to have compassion for others. This is especially significant in the age of #MeToo. Kids will be hearing about this movement and we can use this as an

In the wake of the #MeToo movement, many people are asking if sex addiction is real. Is out of control sexual conduct and compulsive or erratic sexual behavior a sigh of a “sexual addiction?” Does being sexually inappropriate and acting, reacting or perpetrating against someone sexually mean that, regardless of the circumstances, that person is not responsible for their actions if they are a “sex addict?” Does the label “addict” give someone an excuse to continue or excuse th