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A Couples Retreat Was a Breakthrough Moment for My Relationship
A couple came to one of my couples retreats. She was the dragger. He was the dragee. She was nervous. He did not want to be there. We went around the room and the couples introduced themselves. Lots of people said they had better things to do than sit in a room and talk about their relationship issues. He relaxed. I told them no one would have to share anything in front of the group. They would do all of their talking in private. All of the nervous partners exhaled. But they
Sex Therapists Uphold Civil Rights for ALL
Like so many of you, I was both saddened and outraged by the recent tragic events in Charlottesville. I am still confused by the President’s lack of moral clarity in condemning the violence. The American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists (AASECT) has recently released a very clear official statement regarding these events. As a member of AASECT, I am aligning with the values that the organization is standing with in the statement. I stand against
Are You Killing Your Sex Life?
Couples create low sex relationships. But it only takes one to get it up and running again. What Gets Your Partner “In the Mood?” Do More of That. One of the reasons for sexless partnerships, according a recent HuffPo article , is that partners may have mismatched sex initiation styles. What does this mean for you? You are killing your sex life. You aren’t paying attention to what gest your partner in the mood. In fact, you might be doing the opposite. While you may love to b
Are Kids Getting Their Sex Ed from Porn?
Porn has been vilified for decades as a destroyer of marriages, an addictive drug, and a quick way to ruin a good sex life by destroying your once pure fantasy life. And with the rise of internet porn, the idea that it is somehow “perilous to our health and happiness” has only grown, at least in some circles. But if you talk to people who work in or report on the industry, the reality seems to be much different. Does Porn Make People More Perverse? Lux Alptraum shared her exp
Young Girls and Cosmetic Vaginal Surgery
Do you talk to your children about sex and their bodies? If not, you could be unwittingly contributing to what I call a “low sense of vagina-esteem.” Research by the BBC shows that girls, as young as 9 are seeking cosmetic surgery for their labia. Labioplasty reduces and reshapes inner and outer vaginal lips, which for most of these girls is purely for appearance since they have no medical basis for the surgery. Girls, Disgusted By Their Vaginas, Seek Surgery These youngsters
My Blog in Top 50 of Top 100 Blogs
I’m delighted to have recently made the list of Top 100 Psychotherapy Blogs on Feedspot . I am number 43, which puts me in the top 50. And I’m in excellent company. Some of the other blogs that made the list include GoodTherapy.org (#1) and Psychotherapy.net (#7). The blogs were chosen based on their Google reputation and search ranking, their influence and popularity on social media sites, the quality and consistency of their posts, and on Feedspot’s editorial team’s exper
When Do Cheaters Talk to Their Lovers?
Twenty five to sixty five percent of people cheat at some point in their marriage. The results of infidelity research are non-conclusive: we aren’t really sure exactly how many people cheat. Cheating is based on dishonesty, and those polled lie even to the researchers. When Do They Communicate? We do know that between 8 and 9 am on Monday mornings is apparently the most likely time that cheaters will communicate with their lovers. The site, Illicit Encounters, designed to fac
How Do You Get the Sex You Want?
What is the number one thing that will guarantee you get the sex you want? Communicate. Before you have sex for the first time. Did you talk about sex with your partner before you did it with them for the first time? Did you share your sexual preferences, what you like to do and how you like to do it? Most people don’t. They fumble around and hope their partner figures out how to make them happy in bed. When they don’t, it can end a new relationship. Sex is an Important Topic
Do You Feel Comfortable Helping Couples in Crisis?
Relationships can be difficult. It can be stressful to be in a romantic partnership even on a good day. Bringing that tension and stress into the treatment room can be challenging for the therapist, as well. In this online training for therapists , I am joined by the top clinicians in the field. We teach therapists the most effective ways to help couples in crisis. Many professionals shy away from it. Recently I had a couple in my office who decided that they were ending thei
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